"Caught Up in You" Chapter 2
You Can't Always Get What You Want
Chapter 2: You Can’t Always Get What You Want
“We have to cancel the rest of the tour,” Gabe’s manager, Collins retorted from the other side of the phone, maybe even the other side of the country, for all Gabe knew. He didn’t sound angry, or disappointed. Just matter of fact. And even Gabe had to admit, he was far from surprised. In some ways, he’d been waiting for this call. Well, dreading would be the more appropriate word. But still, after the last album had been critically panned and commercially discarded, he knew the writing was on the wall. It wasn’t like he had put forth the best effort. He had told his manager he wanted to wait to put out the next album. But, the demand had been so high. Everyone wanted a piece of Gabriel Romero in those days.
His latest album wasn’t the only failure in his life. It seemed his marriage had crumbled before he had a chance to notice there was something wrong. Anytime he came home he was met with such resentment and vitriol, but really who could blame her? Jenna Clarke thought she was marrying her soulmate. Instead, Gabe had barely been home in the past three years they’d been married — he was constantly on tour or hanging out with fancy friends. He bought her a nice house and gave her the lifestyle most people could only dream of. Did she expect him to be a devoted and faithful partner, as well? That’s for suckers, Gabe thought. Not for rockstars who have been on the cover of Rolling Stone numerous times. And when Jenna said she wanted a baby, he happily obliged. Of course he gave her the speech that the baby would be her responsibility, and if he was being honest, he sometimes worried about how little affection he had for his own flesh and blood. But he gave her everything she wanted. With the exception of his love. Gabe wasn’t sure if she ever really had it, to be honest. Even after all this time love still felt like an elusive thing to him. Something he wrote and sang about, sure. But, could he recognize the feeling? He truly didn’t know. He thought he had been in love at one point, but that part of him he buried deep inside.
When Jenna came along, he was at a low point emotionally, which might seem surprising to an outsider’s perspective because Gabe had just become an international success and was constantly surrounded by beautiful women willing to do anything just to be in his company. Jenna was one of those women. She had won backstage passes at one of his shows, and Gabe thought she was pretty, so he asked if she wanted to grab a drink. One drink turned into several, and before he knew it, they were in the backseat of his limo making out like teenagers. For a fan like Jenna, it had been a fairytale. For Gabe, who was both heartbroken and emotionally unstable, it was a welcome respite from thinking about the love he lost.
At that time, he still couldn’t imagine a scenario without Cassie Green in it. They grew up together— the Dawson and Joey of the San Diego suburbs. He was too shy to ask her out in High School and she had a constant barrage of boyfriends, anyway. But, whenever she was in between dudes, Gabe was the one she ran to. She was his first kiss, his first boob grab, his first blow job, his first everything. Of course, it was all innocent back in those days. They had known each other since they were ten, and felt comfortable enough to test the waters with each other. But, neither one was ready to commit. They didn’t have to. They were kids. And then he fucked it all up.
He didn’t know why he made the stupid rule that they weren’t allowed to date when they got to college, but he did. Maybe he thought there would be other opportunities, other women, other… something. Plus, Cassie didn’t even seem to care. She didn’t have the constant lineup of guys like she did in High School, but she knew she was attractive and could date anyone she wanted to. And in some ways their band, Pretty Whiskey became her boyfriend. It became their whole world.
That all changed when Gabe saw Ethan and Cassie write a song together for the first time. In that moment, he knew he made a mistake with that stupid rule. There was a deep set desire within him— a caveman like instinct to grab her and claim her. He sure as hell didn’t want anyone else to think they had a shot. Especially not Ethan. So, Cassie and Gabe picked up where they left off in High School and started sleeping together. And going on dates. And spending all their time together. But Gabe would never call it anything other than “having fun.” But again, it wasn’t as if Cassie minded. He wasn’t even sure if they were exclusive— she always had a flock of guys surrounding her and he wouldn’t be surprised if she hooked up with some of them. Who could blame her? Despite the constant question of what their relationship was, they did have fun. Between the shows, and the drugs, and the sex, those were some of the best years of his life. A part of him never wanted those years to end. A part of him actually believed that they wouldn’t. And then they did. Abruptly.
He knew it was unlikely they’d stay together forever, but he didn’t think she’d move on so quickly. He thought he’d eventually convince her to move to New York with him. He thought they’d get married. He thought they’d become famous together. He can still remember when he decided to call her to ask her to move to the east coast. He’d been planning out what he was going to say, and even picked out a couple of cute apartments they could move into. Instead, she told him she was happy he called because she had met someone. The someone. This might be it, she said. And she said it all with a resoluteness in her voice. He pretended to be happy, but the truth is, his world fell apart. He hung up and cried for the first time since he was a kid when his childhood pup ran away from home and they found the body discarded on the side of the road. Cassie had been the one to comfort him. Sweet, twelve-year-old Cassie who dried his tears and told him it was okay to cry. And now she found someone who wasn’t him and she was telling him “this was it.” Gabe had no choice in the matter. If only he hadn’t been such a fool, a selfish jerk who thought she would somehow always come back to him. Despite the fact he made it clear they were never official. That was the last time they spoke.
There was something in their final exchange that had seemed so absolute, like not only had Cassie picked out the coffin, but she had also already buried their now-dead relationship. It still bothered him how all that history between them could just be obliterated with a single phone call. Something didn’t make sense. It all felt so unlike Cassie, or at least the Cassie he knew, but Gabe was too heartbroken to dig deeper. And soon, he wouldn’t have to. The door with Cassie was closed, but his career was about to take off in a big way.
No one expected his success, least of all Gabe himself. The songs were mostly rejects from Pretty Whiskey. The ones Cassie and Ethan didn’t think were good enough, or Mark would simply call, “not our sound.” Whatever the fuck that meant. Turned out Mark was right. It wasn’t Pretty Whiskey’s sound, but it certainly was Gabriel Romero’s. With the intense tracks and simple melodies, he became a “bad boy crooner.” Right place, right time and all that jazz. His follow-up album was even bigger than his debut. Of course they were all songs about Cassie. Of course the female audience ate them up like chocolate pudding. Of course he became a sex symbol. But, Cassie never called. She had moved on. The only one who showed any encouragement or support at all had been Mark. Strangely enough, they had stayed friends throughout the years. Mark with his strange brand of relating to the world and his often brash remarks. Gabe found it refreshing. He knew Mark and Cassie probably still talked, but he never brought her up. Why would he? That ship sailed long ago. And as far as Gabe was now concerned, he hoped that ship sank and Cassie drowned in the wreckage.
“Did you hear me?” his manager cautiously asked. Gabe snapped back to reality. His current reality where he was a failure and a fraud.
“Yeah. So, what do I do now?”
“That’s up to you, kid. Get your life in order. Write a new album. Spend time with your wife and kid. You’re going to have a lot of time now.” Gabe thanked his manager again (for what he didn’t know), before hanging up and wondering if that was the last time he’d ever hear from him. What the fuck was he going to do with all this time? For the past three years he found it very easy to make excuses as to why he couldn’t be somewhere. He was busy. He was a fucking somebody. And now, what would he be without the excuse of having something more important to do? He could actually be a decent husband. A decent father. A decent fucking human being.
He could go to Mark’s wedding.
When the invitation first arrived, Gabe tossed it in the trash like most things that reminded him of happiness, but he added it to his calendar for some reason. As the date got closer and closer he kept reminding himself to call Mark and tell him he wouldn’t be able to make it. But he never did. And now the wedding was less than a week away. If it were anybody else, Gabe wouldn’t even consider calling last minute to see if he could still go. Mark was the exception. Mark wouldn’t care that he waited until the last minute; hell, he’d be elated that Gabe of all people would make the time to come to his wedding. He didn’t have to know that Gabe didn’t have anything better to do now.
With a new resolve, Gabe took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts for Mark’s cell. Yeah, he’d tell him he totally forgot to RSVP, but of course he’d be there. He wouldn’t miss it for the world. He’d get to be the fucking hero. And as Mark answered with his signature, “Ya-lo?,” Gabe’s stomach took a nosedive as he realized: She’d probably be there, as well.