“What about that time he wanted everyone to call him Mac Fines instead of Mark Finestein?” Cassie half-laughed, half-choked in between puffs. It had been true: the summer after Junior year, Mark insisted everyone start calling him Mac instead of Mark. Cassie and Ethan had thought it was such a lateral move and in an effort to make fun of him, they insisted on being called Cass and Eth. It was their running joke for years, and one that even Mark found funny now.
“He said he wanted to be called something like Humphrey Dragon, but it would’ve been too drastic of a change.”
“Humphrey Dragon?” Cassie practically spat, she was laughing so hard. Once you got her going, she could hardly breathe. There’d been a couple of times Ethan wasn’t sure if she was choking or just giggling. There was a very fine line between the two.
“Now that needs to go in the speech. Humphrey Dragon. That’s practically a porn name.”
“I think it might be. Isn’t his middle name Humphrey?” Cassie nodded. It was. That sent them into a fresh wave of giggles. The weed was only partially to blame. Even after all these years and relationships later, nobody made Ethan or Cassie laugh as hard as they did when they were together. They had the same brand of unique humor. Often times they’d be the only ones laughing in the room. Scott also had a similar sense of humor and would often find the absurd aspects of life hysterical like they did (one of the many reasons Cassie fell in love with him, and Ethan and he got along so well), but he couldn’t share in the Mark of it all. For whatever reason, that thought brought a feeling of reassurance to Ethan.
“Okay, that’s definitely going in the speech,” Ethan concluded as he made a note of it in his Moleskin. He always had his trusted Moleskin firmly tucked into his back pocket for whenever inspiration struck. It used to be filled with chord progressions and sample lyrics. Cassie would often sneak it away from him and use all of his bits and pieces to turn it into a full-blown song. That’s what made them such a good team. If songwriting were akin to building a house, Ethan would be the one to lay down the foundation, while Cassie would decorate the shit out of it. Ethan noticed a pang of sadness tug at Cassie as she spotted the notebook. She used to keep one herself, but he knew it had long been relegated to the bottom of one of her drawers.
“James called me a loser,” Cassie said nonchalantly as she passed the joint back to Ethan. He put it out as he waited for Cassie to elaborate. She often times spoke in hyperbole and had a way of exaggerating the truth to accommodate her needs. She didn’t do it maliciously, but it was a habit of Cassie’s that Ethan often times found exhausting. He’d have to dig at the kernel of truth beneath her feelings.
“Well, not a loser exactly,” she confessed, “But he said that ten years is a long time to to be working as an assistant. Which is true.” Ethan nodded in agreement. It was true and he also knew how much it wore on Cassie to still be basically a secretary. Hell, it wore on him that he was still behind the sound board and not behind a mic. And Cassie’s talent had blown them all away. Sure, Ethan was pretty good at crafting a tune, but it took him forever to actually commit something to paper. When Cassie got going, she could knock out multiple songs in a single sitting. And even more impressive, everything she ever wrote had hit potential. It saddened Ethan that Cassie had all this talent and it was wasted on scheduling sessions and getting coffee for producers. He could only imagine how she felt.
When they were in college, they wrote and performed all the time. Then, after “the incident” Cassie would noodle around from time to time, but not with the the same voracity as she once did. Ethan imagined she all but stopped writing and playing now. He had a sinking suspicion Gabe had something to do with that, which only made Ethan hate Gabe even more.
Cassie was so full of light, she often times reminded Ethan of one of those Monchichi dolls whose big bright eyes just made you smile. Also, their theme song was literally “Monchichi means happiness,” so how could you not smile at that? But sometimes, a sadness would overtake Cassie like a storm cloud. He remembered the weeks after she had to take care of “Gabe’s problem,” she could hardly get out of bed. The Cassie he had grown to love had been replaced by someone so negative, she could only see the world with all its’ flaws. It thankfully never got that bad since, but every once in awhile that nihilistic side of her would rear its’ ugly head. And it was threatening to right now.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that, Cass.”
“I know, but it still hurts. I do feel like such a loser. Actually thinking we had a shot at making it. Hell, I thought we could be as big as Gabe was. Now, I’d kill to just have a producer look at one of my songs.” She looked up at him with those big brown eyes, almost child-like. “Our songs,” she quickly corrected.
She always did that, trying not to take possession of anything she didn’t think she fully deserved. Ethan found it endearing, especially when it came to the things they shared. But, he also knew how much time and effort Cassie had put into writing them. He merely wanted to be in her presence. For all intents and purposes they were her songs, but he was happy to share in the credit.
“We should probably head back inside,” he said warily. He would’ve stayed in the car all day with her, but he knew he needed to finish that song for the producer soon. And there was a lingering awkwardness dancing around them, like it often would when they were in danger of being alone for too long. Ethan used to live for those moments, the “will they or won’t they?” But ever since Cassie got married, he felt like he had to respect that. They were now firmly rooted in “won’t they” territory.
“Yeah, everyone’s probably going to wonder where I am. Or not. No one probably notices I’m gone.”
Ethan could’ve taken the bait and told her how vital she was and how much everyone adored her, which was true, but he felt he had done enough to calm her down. That was Scott’s job now. Cassie flashed an indignant look, but the weed made her too tired and relaxed to press it further. They got out of the car, fanning themselves in the process, and parted ways.
Ethan finished mixing the song a few hours later. When Dennis heard it, he was quite pleased, and Ethan felt like he could leave for the day on a good note. He was technically supposed to stay in the office until seven every night, but if he finished a song early, he felt there was no reason to linger. Beating traffic was something he relished. Besides, he had to go over to his ex’s house tonight to drop off their dog.
Lucinda had been Ethan’s only real adult relationship. He had dated plenty, and had no shortage of women who wanted to sleep with him. But, Lucinda had been different. They dated on and off for almost five years, and it could best be described as tumultuous. He met Lucinda at Burning Man with Mark, and was instantly captivated by her. She was Cassie’s opposite in so many ways: free-spirited, impulsive, and had a “didn’t give a fuck about anything” attitude. It turned out she didn’t give much of a fuck about Ethan, either, which is why they were always so on and off. And Ethan never saw himself settling down with her. She hadn’t even met his parents. But, he loved the way being with her made him feel, and the sex was out-of-this-world amazing. It probably helped that they were stoned out of their minds most of the time. It was also worth noting that Cassie couldn’t stand her. Whether that made Ethan like her more or less because of that was anybody’s guess.
The closest Ethan and Lucinda ever came to settling down together was when she was in between jobs and needed a place to crash. His place seemed like the most logical since she was there most of the time anyway and he wouldn’t charge her rent. They both said it was temporary, but unlike most similar situations, they actually believed that it was. During their time of co-habitation, they decided to get a dog. They instantly fell in love with the sweet chocolate lab chihuahua mix they called Mr. Poppins. In some ways Mr. Poppins brought them closer together (their relationship lasted an additional two years when it was already on the rocks), but in other ways their love for Mr. Poppins only highlighted how not in love they were with each other.
During one of their “off times” Lucinda moved to Austin for work, so Ethan took possession of Mr. Poppins. And when she moved back to L.A. and they inevitably got back together, they decided to split custody of the little guy. The habit stuck, even past their relationship. It was convenient, and now that he and Lucinda had been “off” for over a year, he liked that they settled into a nice friendship. He knew there was never any chance of getting back together, but there would be the occasional late night hook-up and Ethan was okay with that. Actually, he was more than okay with that. The sex was still out-of-this-world amazing.
Ethan secretly hoped he would get lucky tonight. Some sex to take the edge off of this weekend would be exactly what he needed. On the drive over to her place, he checked the vanity mirror just to make sure there wasn’t any spinach in his teeth. Mr. Poppins looked over at him from the passenger seat like he was crazy.
When they reached her house, Mr. Poppins began scraping his paws against the glass of Ethan’s car window. He recognized her house and couldn’t contain his excitement. After they parked, Ethan let go of the leash to let Mr. Poppins take off for the front door. It wouldn’t be very sexy if Lucinda opened the door to find Ethan sprawled out in front of it. Mr. Poppins had pulled Ethan off his feet on more than one occasion. It wasn’t pretty.
As Ethan casually walked up, he heard a deep voice he didn’t recognize call out, “And you must be Mr. Poppins. I’ve heard so much about you, buddy.” Ethan scrunched up his face in suspicion. Nobody called his dog buddy except him, but especially not strange men with deep voices.
The door swung open to reveal a chiseled, tanned man wearing only a bathrobe. Lucinda’s bathrobe, to be exact. Ethan could only guess he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. The man reached out his hand for Ethan to shake. “Hey dude, I’m Barrett. Lucinda’s dude. You must be Ethan.” Ethan politely shook Barrett’s hand, but all he could think about was how he clearly wasn’t getting lucky tonight.
Looks like Ethan won’t be getting lucky, after all. Next week, we’re back in Cassie’s POV as they gear up for Mark’s wedding. See you then!