Childhood Dreams

"Like a f*cking dream I'm living in"

Apologies in advance because this is going to be self-indulgent in a way that normally feels very gross to me, but… I’m in the current issue of Vanity Fair representing my fellow guild-members and I got to share that moment with my childhood best friend who happens to be the one I used to tell those crazy childhood dreams to like, “I hope to work in Hollywood and be in Vanity Fair some day….” so, we’re going to flipping celebrate that!

Photo by Randy Tarampi on Unsplash

By now if you’re a loyal reader (thank you, loyal readers!) you know I started a strike fund in the middle of the WGA strike that ended up being a wild success and beacon for hope during a truly tough time. I’ve always felt a little anxious about the accolades because I just facilitated something a lot of people helped to make possible. I can also now admit it was a lot of work and I honestly don’t know how I managed to balance everything I did during that time (and maybe that’s why there’s been such a come-down that I’ve allowed myself a lot of grace to handle). Even still, I never did this for the recognition, but that part has been really nice (and often overwhelming for a anxious and socially shy person). It was a thrill to get an email from the Hollywood editor of Vanity Fair asking if I’d like to be a part of a mildly high-concept photoshoot for the annual Hollywood Issue. I kid you not, I was helping my son wipe his tush when I got this email, so honestly I couldn’t have said “yes” any faster.

The photoshoot itself was both surreal and so much fun. We’re writers, so there were a lot of jokes about how awkward we are and not knowing how to pose. One of the best parts for me was getting to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with one of my best friends and the person who has been actively supporting my career since 2009. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you don’t belong, having your friend right next to you whispering that you do is a true gift. I was also in a booth with the person who created and wrote for some of my favorite shows (and also employs one of my favorite people). Yes, I was too shy to tell him how much Parks and Rec meant to me and that I waited to watch the finale until I was in labor; but no, I wasn’t too shy to talk about how much I adore one of our mutuals. At one point he said the words, “Mose and the Green Envelope girl” and that’s when things felt truly dream-like.

Another highlight was getting to take a picture with King Drew Carey and tell him how much everything he did meant to me. Every single person who was in that room (including many people who weren’t) is a legend and worked so hard during the strike. It was an honor to be there and be amongst so many people who I admire and respect. I am so, so grateful that I got to be a part of it.

The print edition came out last week, and in the best timing from the universe, I got to pick up a copy from my mom’s childhood newsstand (Ventura and Laurel Canyon, baby) with my childhood best friend who knew how much this meant to me. Sometimes life really is but a dream.

Does it feel weird to have this big moment coincide with not having a job/income and watching the industry be in a free-for-all tailspin? Abso-fuckin-lutely. To be honest, that’s where a lot of the overwhelm is coming from. But I also know the importance of celebrating little wins and how those little wins can bring about some hope. If you would’ve told me I’d be photographed for Vanity Fair by a legendary photographer alongside legends, I would’ve probably laughed at you. But…

In other news, there’s been some good industry news and things some semblance of hope on the horizon. I hope others are feeling that way, too… and if not, I hope there’s people that you can reach out to. I’m also proud that I got in my application for the Sundance Lab (send all the good vibes, please!) and am about halfway through a draft of my pilot. If anyone needs help or encouragement, my inbox is always open!

Have a great week, lovelies.