Farewell, 2023

Yes, this is another year-end review

You’re probably seeing a lot of these right now, and thank you for letting me add to the pile. I used to apologize for something like that, or worse, not give myself permission to participate, but I guess that’s just one of the hard-learned lessons of the past few years; and one of the many lessons I’m extremely grateful for.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I suppose that’s why so many people find the end of the year a perfect time for reflection. Even when things are awful, it’s nice to remind ourselves of the little pockets of joy that exist. I did name my newsletter, “Cautiously Optimistic,” after all.

Even if you feel like you accomplished nothing at all this year, just surviving is a huge accomplishment in these unprecedented times. I was talking to my mom this morning and she was worried about possible rain during the Rose Parade this year. “It’s never rained during the parade,” she said. I had to remind her we’ve now survived years of “this has never happened.” And in a true sign of the times, we then rationalized that a little rain may actually end up making the flowers even more vibrant this year.

I realized this change of thought is how I’ve survived these past few years. What if this unfortunate situation ends up being a blessing in disguise? What if I start a strike fund in the middle of a strike? What if I can raise a child on my own while pursuing a competitive and hard career? What if I start that feature at the end of November? What if I ask for help? What if I actually take a chance on myself for once, instead of just accepting what’s expected? What if…?

When I look back on this year, those are the questions that I’ve asked myself. Sometimes you just have to take the leap. In a year that started with my trust completely broken and bent, I learned to trust myself. I learned that sometimes you just have to create a little shred of hope in order to see the bigger picture. Read that again. Ooo, that’s powerful.

Last year my therapist suggested I create a vision board for 2023. I’ve made vision boards before, but not one to set the tone for the year. Sometime in November, I looked at… like, really looked at it, and was surprised to see how much it really did shape the year I had. This morning, when I was starting to gather thoughts for this entry, I went back to the goals note I made at the start of the year. I hadn’t opened it since I created it back in January, and back then I never could’ve predicted the twists and turns this year would take, but re-reading this morning, I was similarly surprised to find how much I had accomplished. What a testament to the power of belief.

My 2023 Vision Board and Goals

It feels naive and disingenuous to say it was an amazing year. There’s so much that feels awful in the world; too much to even talk about publicly. But, in terms of my own personal growth— I’m so fucking proud. It also feels strange to feel such a sense of pride when my bank account tells a different story, but I guess that’s where that faith in myself is starting to come in. Just because this is the situation right now, doesn’t mean it’s the situation forever. Maybe that can help you feel less afraid, too.

It’s funny that creating a substack was a goal for this year, and here we are. Thank you to everyone who reads these, and especially thank you to those of you who pay to read these. I hope you have a happy new year, and I’m excited for what’s to come in 2024.

But, wait…there’s more! As a paid subscriber, you’ll now receive my recommendations and reading lists and some other fun things. Woo hoo! Here’s a preview for everyone:

What I’m reading: “The Last Five Years”

What I’m watching: So. Much. Currently. Here’s some of my favorites.

Green Eggs and Ham on Netflix: this is one of the best series I’ve seen in the past few years. I’m so bummed they canceled it!

Saltburn: Loved it and can’t get “Murder on the Dancefloor” out of my head, which has me only slightly worried

Wonka: This one surprised me, but Chalamat is delightful and my kid actually sat through it.

Migration: Super fun, especially when you realize Mike White wrote it and you imagine it as White Lotus for birds.