For What It's Worth

some thoughts on the strike anniversary and what's happening in the world

We all have some form of fight, flight, or freeze when we’re faced with a challenging situation. I am currently in flight mode with one thing I’m dealing with, and freeze in most other things I’m dealing with. But, when it came to the strike, I didn’t hesitate to jump into action.

A year later, I’m proud that’s my biggest takeaway, as well as the takeaway of so many others who have been sharing their thoughts. It was a hard and scary time, we’re all dealing with the residual trauma, as well as trying to find our footing in this new landscape, but we did it and would do it again in a heartbeat because that’s what you do.

I think for me personally, it’s also hard to talk about the strike and not acknowledge all the ways it changed my life. Maybe that’s why I felt inclined to share my journal from yesterday with the world.

It’s been hard to navigate how I’m feeling in general while the world is in such turmoil. The peaceful right to protest is completely f*cked up right now, and there are so many things that seem backward. Right before I started writing, I watched a video of a police officer unmasking one of the “lowlife protestors” at UCLA and it’s a teen girl with her head held high— like WHAT?! When is a fearless young woman standing up for the rights of others the “bad guy.” Are you kidding me?! The truth is, I am so sad and confused by what’s unfolding across college campuses right now, that it has brought out freeze mode in a big way.

I harbor a lot of guilt about being in freeze mode about these things that so clearly matter for our future and the moral soul of the world, and yet I was so ready to jump into action and assume risk when it came to the strike. Maybe that’s where motherhood comes into play. I can’t take the same risks I could before that was a factor. A single parent can’t get arrested for standing up for what they believe in. A single parent can’t speak out and risk getting fired. A single parent can’t scream at the top of her lungs about the injustices of the world while also teaching a child how to be patient and control their emotions. I do my best, but I feel like I fall short in this regard. I guess what I’m saying is don’t beat yourself up too much if you feel the same.

I hope everyone is finding little moments of joy amidst all this uncertainty. I think that’s the thing that will sustain us and keep us going, or maybe I’m once again trying to be too optimistic.

In the meantime, I’m going to wake my son up and take him to get donuts this morning to celebrate the fact we made it through another week. I’ll also leave you with this song, which always comforts/rallies me during times like these. Wild it was recorded in the 60s and is still relevant, but we’re back to freeze mode.

"For What It's Worth"

There's something happening here
But what it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking' their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

We better stop
Now, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

We better stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?

Take care of each other, dear readers.