Persevering When the Chips Are Down

aka how to not drown in depression

My six-year-old has been learning a lot about perseverance in school lately, or as Merriam-Webster defines, a “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.”

I’ve also been learning a lot about perseverance lately… and how difficult it can be to continue putting in effort for something that doesn’t give you anything back (I’m looking at you, TV writing career).

I guess this is also a good time to address my recent absence. You see, dear readers, in the past several weeks, I have lost my day job/source of income, the board of directors election, and my health insurance for next year. So, lots of loss and lots of things to persevere over.

This is what’s been helpful for both my kid and me:

Take Breaks

The biggest way to stop yourself from quitting: don’t call it quitting, call it a break! When my son gets frustrated with a school assignment, I remind him to take a deep breath, do something that brings him joy (like coloring, or going for a walk), then get back into it. I’m also reminding myself that I’m not an unemployable loser, but rather my TV writing career is on a break while the industry sorts itself out, and I’m looking for alternate means of income as a result. (I love you, reframing)

Celebrate the Little Wins

Another key to keep going? Celebrate the small stuff, no matter how small it is. Even though I didn’t want to see anyone last week, my dear friend insisted we go out to lunch to celebrate the fact that I ran. And you know what? As much as I thought I’d hate the idea of toasting a failed campaign, it felt really fucking good to toast anything at all. We need even the smallest bit of hope to keep going.

Healthy Distractions

As much as I would love to bury my head under the covers sometimes (and I would really, really love to), you can’t hide away from the world. Even with all the “loss” I’ve had other things to focus on— like PTA, raising a child, and finally having time to write the pilot, feature, play, and novel I’ve been putting off. Do I need to worry about a way to make money? Absolutely! Do I have to worry about it every second of every day? No, no I don’t.

Creating Consistency

Things often feel bleak because we don’t feel like we have control over the situation, and that can lead to hopelessness. So, in times of peak-worry I look for ways to increase my agency, and the best way to do that is by doing something small I can rely on every day, whether that’s a morning routine, having a friend to check in with, or keeping to the same routines.

A Fun (and easy) New Project

The best way for me to bring new energy into a situation is by doing something new. I was gifted a really great Oracle deck for my birthday and it’s become the thing I look forward to daily (and it doesn’t take a ton of time or energy).

Lean into the Unknown

Change is scary, but it can also bring a sense of hope. Surrendering also comes with a sense of freedom and there is power and magic in that.

Happy 1st day of October. I hope you lean into the magic of the unknown like I am. What are some things that work for you when you’re feeling down?