The Invisible Load of Halloween
... it really is the spookiest season of the year
I have never been a fan of Halloween for various reasons (nut allergy, very anxious around strangers, lots of pressure to dress-up), and then that all changed when I had my kid. Here’s what they don’t tell you about being a parent once the child can pick out their own costume, HALLOWEEN IS A FULL-TIME JOB.
For those not familiar with the term “Invisible Load,” I wasn’t aware of it until I started following the various mom-grams. On top of being a term to make millennial parents feel better about themselves, it’s basically all the work that goes into being a parent that others don’t see. For example, doing laundry (my mom did our laundry every single day growing up… I didn’t know it was such a source of stress until I moved out… thanks, Mom!)
During holidays, the Invisible Load tends to get bigger and less invisible. But unless you’re the parent shouldering the majority of the work (and are an involved parent), you wouldn’t know every little single thing that’s required to give your child a decent holiday… until now. May I present, the unofficial invisible load checklist for a single-parent to a first-grader who is also not sleeping because of election stress. You’re welcome!
Decide on the Halloween costume. If this is later than July, you’re too late. But also, if you decide too early, good luck trying to explain to your kid that this decision is final.
Start saving for the Halloween costume because inevitably your kid will want something cool and expensive and something you won’t be able to make. You’ll also be overwhelmed and won’t have time to shop or go to a bunch of stores searching for one. End up using birthday money to cover the cost.
Befriend cool parents or join the PTA so you can make sure you know what’s happening at the school this year and your child doesn’t have to trick-or-treat alone. This will require a lot of time and energy, and you might end up “directing” a talent show that will also become a full-time job. But, you will also meet several cool moms along the way.
Remind your ex-husband that there will be lots of Halloween events and to remind you of anything he wants to do. (Pro tip: you will have to send this text weekly from September until the week of Halloween and he will still ask what the plan is the night before.)
Start buying discount candy and Halloween trinkets (just in case)
Remember joining the PTA? Guess what, you’re now also helping out with the Halloween Parade bake sale. Any free time you have will be spent calling local bakeries asking if they can donate. You’ll have to call several times and stop in. You’ll end up going over on your coffee shop budget for the month, but it’ll all be worth it (you tell yourself at night when you can’t sleep).
Go to a Pumpkin Patch. Convince your generous parents to also go so they can help carry and pay for the pumpkins (and you can create memories that last a lifetime, lol).
Pray that the pumpkin doesn’t go bad before Halloween.
Try and do one more “Halloween-y” thing, but realize you spent all your extra money on knick-knacks this year, so rewatch HalloweenTown and make it a movie night.
Finalize Halloween-day plans with the cool moms you made friends with. Thank your lucky stars that it worked out.
Completely forget about the school’s fall festival and other activities that are planned. Scramble to find something to donate.
Oh yeah… don’t forget to vote!
Look for jobs / start a new job to pay for everything (not including bills). Hope your new day job doesn’t schedule you for Halloween.
Try not to have a little mental breakdown
Carve the pumpkin that has not gone bad. Sacrifice your manicure to do so.
Congrats, you have now made it to Halloween week! Good luck.
For a more “broad” list of the invisible load on Halloween, MomWell has a great one.
Good luck to all the ghouls and goblins this week!
Being I’m not a single parent but sure is a lot of work but you manage pretty well. Good advise in this Halloween article that is very useful & informative❤️❤️